The Allan Border awards ceremony is meant to recognise outstanding contribution to Australian cricket but this year’s event was a continuation of the brazen skin display that has become the hallmark of the player’s WAGs, or wives and girlfriends.

Fast bowler Nathan Bracken’s wife Haley was the standout performer on the night, literally, as she threatened to fall out of a near sea through outfit that looked like The Little Mermaid had just lost a cat fight with Kath’n’Kim. Commentators were widespread in their derision of the flesh-fest which reminded some of a classless Mariah Carey, which is really saying something. Experts did say that the debacle did not trump the horror paraded by Brynne Gordon at this year’s Brownlows but it was close. Haley proudly informed the bemused throng that she was in fact the designer of the dress disaster.

Fortunately, eloquence was rescued somewhat by star-couple Michael Clarke and Lara Bingle – the former somehow managing to make Chanel body tattoos classy while her beau scrubbed up a treat in his Prada dinner suit.

Jessica Bratich, girlfriend of Mitchell Johnson and past winner of most outstanding display of female flesh, was slightly more conservative this time around in her Ruth Tarvydas gown which fitted the Melbourne Crown Casino surroundings more than amply.

Athlete Tamsyn Lewis, seemingly the only female athlete at the event, hung off the gloves of wicketkeeper Graham Manou while Rianna Ponting appeared to be revisiting her wedding day in a shiny Nicola Fenti number. Overall Alan Border winner Shane Watson also took home the night’s second most glittering prize, celebrity commentator Lee Furlong.